Listener Kate asks if her partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without that friend’s monogamous partner’s explicit consent, how does Kate object without imposing her poly ethics on her partner?
0:00 Introduction and host chat
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2:00 Where do my ethics end and my partner’s begin?
Kate calls in and is uncomfortable with her partner’s new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner. Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate’s partner and the POI’s relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI’s relationship agreement with her mono partner.
- We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don’t think it’s a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.
- Having meeting that doesn’t include the POI’s partner is duplicitous (or “skeevy”, as Minx calls it)
- Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else’s relationship agreement?
- You can’t tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI’s partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.
15:45 How to make this podcast better
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