Problems with Sexual Desire and Frequency
Problems with sexual desire and frequency are some of the most common and complicated concerns that cause individuals and couples to seek sex therapy.
Definition Persistently or recurrently deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity. The clinician, taking into account factors that affect sexual functioning, such as age and the context of the person’s life, makes the judgment of deficiency or absence.
Prevalence Studies report Hypoactive Sexual Desire diagnosis ranges from 14-63%.
Causes and Barriers
Biological
Hormonal factors, Health/major illnesses, street drugs, medications, and age and aging.
Emotional
Religious, cultural, and family messages about sex. Self and body image concerns, inhibitions regarding sexual fantasies, sexual trauma history, masked sexual orientation issues, lack of information, unrealistic expectations and fears of intimacy and closeness, and lack of differentiation from family of origin or from partner.
Relationship
Stored anger, resentment and chronic conflict, need for power and control, not attracted to partner, disagreements about conditions and reasons for sex, inability to negotiate differences as a fundamental relationship problem.
Lifestyle / Culture
Life in the fast lane, role overload, fatigue, unrealistic expectations for sex, body image and relationships from media influence.
Unrealistic expectations
Initial infatuation stage vs. deeper, more calm stage of attachment (not all-consumed with sex). Real love is built on communication and intimacy. Sex becomes a part of the whole relationship, not the center of it.
Treatment
Some people will possibly be able to resolve what is bothering them by just reading and applying some of the ideas below. Others won’t. There is usually a hidden part of sexual problems, the emotional part that is unique to each individual and /or the couple. Many people often need the boost of professional help to get the many aspects of their concern sorted through and resolved.